The Christmas Of Our Lives
by PoodleWoodle1992
Summary: A crossover Christmas special. The kids from Third Street spend their winter vacation and Christmas in Birdwell Island. Read and review!
1. Winter Break Is Around The Corner!

(Disclaimer: I hereby do not, in any way, shape, or form, own anything. All trademarks, characters, names, brands, franchises, products, logos, songs, and locations are registered trademarks and the sole property of their respective owners. I understand that any form of copyright infringement is strictly prohibited.)

Read and review!

Chapter 1: Winter Break Is Around The Corner!

The sky was dark and cloudy, and snowflakes drifted through the air towards the ground. The roofs of the houses were pure white, and the roads were icy. We begin our story at Third Street School on the last day of school before winter vacation. Inside, Miss Grotke's class was having a party. The fourth graders were watching _Elf_, listening to their iPods, whizzing paper airplanes through the air, reading, playing board games, Nintendo DS's, and PSPs, and just having a good amount of fun. Mikey Blumberg was doing something much different: writing a letter to Santa Claus.

_Dear Santa,_

_I hope everything's okay. How are Mrs. Claus, the reindeer (including Rudolph), and the elves (including Buddy and Hermey)? I'm feeling exultant that it's the last day of school before winter break. My friends and I are going on a journey to Birdwell Island right after we get out of school, but I wonder if the ferry still operates? I heard a rumor once that you shave, but I'm glad it's just a joke. I've obeyed everything I've been..._

Ashley Spinelli interrupted. "So Mikey, you still sweatin' over that letter to Santa?"  
"Not that bad, Spinelli," Mikey replied. "Ever watched _Clifford The Big Red Dog_ before?"  
"That show is the BOMB!" Spinelli said. "It's even better than that rip-off kindergarten show, _Bonky_."  
"I agree," Mikey said. "I'm trying to make my Christmas list at least five pages long."

_I've obeyed everything I've been told. I'll write my Christmas list soon._

_~Mikey Blumberg_

T.J. Detweiler was reading a travel magazine, and something caught his eye. "Guys, Birdwell Island's changed recently. It has a huge new fun center, arcade, and go-kart track on the boardwalk."  
"We gotta check upcoming events, too, you know," Vince LaSalle said.  
"Galileo, where's the geographic location of Birdwell Island?" Gretchen Grundler asked.  
"It appears to be just a few miles east of the Massachusetts coast," Galileo said. "It can be reached by a ferry outside of Boston."  
"I don't know why the dogs from the show don't talk to the humans," Gus Griswald said. "It's just so-"  
Suddenly, the clock struck 11:30 a.m. and the bell rang for a snowy recess. The kids cheered and ran out the classroom door. "Alright! Time for a snowball brawl!" Spinelli hooted.

Outside, the kids built snowmen, made snow angels, ran around, and had snowball fights. Spinelli was the ultimate champion and knocked the members of the other team out. She was just about to ask Mikey what he wanted from Santa when _paf!_ a huge snowball from inside the Ashleys' hideout of tires hit her right in the head. The Ashleys broke into laughter.  
"What're ya doin'?" Spinelli asked angrily. "Tryin' to make my winter break dreams turn out false?"  
"You're just so unlucky, and you know it," Ashley Quinlan replied with a sneer. Ashley Beaulet giggled.  
"If I were her, I'd hide in my room forever," Ashley Tomasian said sarcastically into Ashley Armbruster's ear.  
"Don't make me get back at you!" Spinelli said, raising her fist. She walked away, groaning. "Where were we, Mikey? Oh, right. Have you thought-"  
"I know a few things I want, but I'll write them down later," Mikey said.  
Miss Finster was on recess duty when she saw a little boy stumble into a snowman built by Randall Weems. He started to cry like a girl.  
"What a crybaby," Randall said. Miss Finster went over to the boy.  
"Spend the rest of recess in..." She pointed to another area. "..._the Box!"_

The bell rang for lunch, and the gang sat down at their own table after they got their lunches. "Hi there, Principal Prickly, sir," T.J. said as he gave Principal Prickly a tap on the back. "Nice weather we're havin', huh?"  
"Always delightful, Detweiler," Principal Prickly replied. He checked his watch. "Aw, geez. I'm gonna be late for the meeting in the teachers' lounge!" He ran off.  
"Howdy diddy!" a kindergartener's voice shouted. Principal Prickly trod on a leg and fell over. The tribe of tattooed kindergarteners went insane. Miss Finster whistled from the upstairs balcony in the cafeteria.  
"OKAY! QUIET DOWN, YOU HOOLIGANS, OR YOU'LL BE IN DETENTION TILL CHRISTMAS YET TO COME!" she yelled at the kindergarteners.  
"I just got a text from Cornchip Girl that she used to have a stuffed Clifford," Vince said.  
"Why aren't there any t-shirts or clothing items from the show that focus on Cleo?" Spinelli asked. "I've seen a lot that focus on Clifford and others that focus on T-Bone."  
"Oh, god," Mikey said as he opened his Mr. Pibb. "Tubby has a t-shirt that says 'Super T' on it."  
"Didn't he wear that in the Kindergarten Derby three months ago?" T.J. asked.  
"Yeah," Vince chuckled. "Everyone had the spirit of the Clifford TV show, so they all called him 'Super T-Bone.'"  
"_Man_, that kid went through the whole thing without messing up!" Gus said.

At 2:55 p.m, five minutes before school let out, Miss Grotke gave back graded assignments and report cards from the second nine weeks. Gretchen got straight A's, Mikey got all A's and a B, Vince got half B's and half A's, Gus got all A's and two B's, T.J. got straight A's, and Spinelli got all B's and an F (for conduct). After that, the class started to play Hangman on the blackboard. A question ("Guess where we're spending our break?") was written by the hanger. "Y" was called, but there were no Y's, so the head was drawn. "G" was called, but there were no G's, so the torso was drawn. Later, "L" was called, and there were three L's. "B" was called, and there was one B. "Does anyone think they have it?" Miss Grotke asked. "Theresa?"  
Cornchip Girl stood up and said, "Birdwell Island!"  
"You got it," T.J. said as he wrote the answer down in the remaining blanks.  
"In my opinion, playing Hangman in a classroom is good, joyful karma. There are many Clifford fans out there, and-"  
"Miss Grotke," Spinelli said, "I really don't mean to interrupt this conversation, but..." She pointed at the clock. There were fifteen seconds left.  
"Be my guest," Miss Grotke said with a smile.  
Ten seconds left. "TEN!" the whole class said in unison. "NINE! EIGHT! SEVEN! SIX! FIVE! FOUR! THREE! TWO! ONE!" The bell rang, and students jumped up and down, stood on the desks, and ran out into the hallway, cheering. "Farewell, Merry Christmas, and happy holidays!" Miss Grotke said.

The whole school ran out the double doors at the front of the school. Miss Finster, standing by her pink '50s Ford Thunderbird, yelled, "HEY! STOP RUNNING EVERYWHERE! STOP IT!" She sang "The Man From Over There" to herself as she got in her car and drove off.  
"All in favor of going to Birdwell Island say, 'Aye!'" T.J. called to the other Third Street kids. "AYE!" A plethora of them ran towards the Van Hool motorcoach bound for the Massachusetts ferry port. Our six protagonists got on after them and sat down in their seats. Spinelli got a text on her phone:

Hi Ashley! It's Mom! Your dad and I are going to Birdwell Island in our cars while you're on the charter bus. And guess what? We've enrolled you in Mademoiselle Povlova's Salon for Independent Movement. She has a new location there. She'll be so pleased to see you again!

Spinelli looked out the window and saw her dad waving from his old blue Honda Accord coupe and her mom waving from her silver Jaguar S-Type. "No other parents are going," she said to herself. She gazed at the words "Mademoiselle Povlova's Salon for Independent Movement" and sighed. "Man, it can't get much worse than _this._" The motorcoach drove off, and the kids outside said goodbye. And so did the other parents. Gus' dad saluted to him. Now was the time to start having fun.


	2. The Journey

(Disclaimer: I hereby do not, in any way, shape, or form, own anything. All trademarks, characters, names, brands, franchises, products, logos, locations, and songs are registered trademarks and the sole property of their respective owners. I understand that any form of copyright infringement is strictly prohibited.)

Read and review!

Chapter 2: The Journey

Over in Birdwell Island, Clifford and his friends, T-Bone, Cleo, and Mac, were playing freeze tag. It wasn't snowing there, but it was still cold. Cleo tagged Mac.  
"Freeze!" she said. Mac stood still as a statue, and Clifford touched him. "Unfrozen!" he said.  
"Catch me if you can, guys!" Cleo called. She started laughing.  
"There's no other dog as fast as me," Mac bragged as he gave chase.  
"This'll be more fun in the snow," T-Bone said.  
"I agree," Clifford replied. "I'm glad we all have leisure time now that Emily Elizabeth just got out of school for break."  
"I'm gettin' kinda cold," Cleo said. "Let's go into Clifford's doghouse and play some Xbox 360 games."  
"Great idea," the others replied. They all set off for the doghouse.

Back on the bus, T.J, Spinelli, Mikey, Gretchen, Vince, and Gus were looking out the windows at the rural environment along the Interstate, which was blanketed in white snow. Christmas music was playing on the bus' radio. Cornchip Girl was hugging a stuffed Clifford of hers, so Gelman knocked it out of her hands.  
"Hey! That's mine!" Cornchip Girl whined.  
"My old man don't believe in Clifford or his lousy friends," Gelman jeered.  
The kindergarteners, all covered in tribal tattoos, were throwing paper balls and shouting, so Spinelli yelled, "QUIET, YOU DEVILS!"  
"That's better," Gus said. "Now I can concentrate more on this magazine about military antiques."  
Miss Finster's pink Ford Thunderbird drove up alongside the bus, startling the gang. Randall was sitting in the passenger seat alongside her.  
"You didn't tell me that Finster was going to Birdwell!" T.J. said.  
"Maybe she's just going somewhere else to visit her family or friends or something," Vince replied.  
"We're driving past the small town of Quackenbush in upstate New York," Gretchen told the gang. "We have approximately 250 miles to the Massachusetts coastline."  
"So we don't have far to go?" Mikey asked.  
"Not really," T.J. said.  
"Miss Finster had better have family off of one of the next exits," Spinelli muttered.  
The bus had to take the next exit because the gas tank needed to be refilled. The BP gas station still had the sign with the shield and the yellow letters from the 90's. It was 4:45 p.m.  
"What the-?" T.J. began. A little boy in a red long-sleeved shirt walked out the door of the BP. He was eating a peanut butter sandwich. Principal Prickly received bad luck when a pile of lumber fell onto his red-orange 1969 Chevy Camaro SS convertible. "Gaaa!" he hollered. The sandwich kid "Disapparated," as some people would call it.

The bus crossed the mighty Hudson River. Later, Mikey took out his laptop, logged into his e-mail, and started typing a new message:

_Dear Santa,_

_We're almost there. We're driving past Norwalk, Connecticut. I'll write to you later._

_~Mikey Blumberg_

He clicked "Send" and the message was sent to the real Santa.

It was 6:00 when the bus reached Boston. It drove over the white cable-stayed bridge downtown and took the next exit. The ferry port was a couple of streets away. The bus stopped next to a booth, and the driver paid the fee. He drove slowly onto a ferry that seemed to be animated differently. The kids ran out and looked over the edge of the railing at the ocean. Miss Finster saw Mr. and Mrs. Spinelli's cars, and her eyes became big as headlights. Spinelli's parents got out of their cars, and the ferry started moving.  
"Bob! Flo!" Miss Finster said with a grin.  
"It's a pleasure to see you here, Muriel," Mrs. Spinelli said.  
"Same here," Miss Finster replied.  
"You know," Mr. Spinelli interrupted, "there's an upcoming spelling bee at Birdwell Island Elementary School's auditorium, and we thought you might come."  
"Sure, I'll think about it."  
Ten minutes later, T.J. and his pals were looking through their binoculars to find a distant piece of land with new skyscrapers, a lighthouse, a boardwalk, and a Ferris wheel. "It looks better than before!" Gus said. "It's like a dream come true. Wait! I hear something familiar."  
"I began to know that children and teens became interested in this whole Clifford craze," the voice said. The gang got closer to the voice, and it was none other than a woman with glasses and brown hair in a bun. _Dr. Quilty!_ She turned towards the gang. "Hey, guys! Long time no see!" she said.  
"Man, it's great to see you again!" Spinelli said, shaking Dr. Quilty's hand.  
"Same to you," Dr. Quilty replied. "We're approaching our destination. Let's make a video together." T.J. got his camcorder and started filming.  
"This is Birdwell Island," Dr. Quilty said. "I'm very excited that our fellow friends from Third Street School are with me during this holiday season." The camcorder showed T.J. and his friends, then it came back to Dr. Quilty. "It's so splendid to enter another TV show. Happy holidays from Quilty Productions!"  
"Alright guys," Mikey said. "This is my time to shine." The ferry stopped when it touched the pier, which was full of Birdwell Island citizens and dogs. Mikey took a deep breath and began to use the Voice.

"Is this the EEEEEEEEEEEEE..."

Everyone turned at Mikey's sustained note, even people inside their houses. Dogs turned, too. Windows cracked.

"...EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEND?"

People and children applauded loudly. Mikey took a bow and waved.  
"You might listen to my poetry, but I come from Third Street School in Ohio," Mikey announced.  
"Wow! What a voice!" Clifford said to his friends.  
Miss Finster spotted Mr. Bleakman in the crowd. "Horace!" she said.  
"Muriel!"  
"What a total surprise," Miss Finster said. "We haven't seen each other since we were kids. A sibling reunion!" Miss Finster, believe it or not, was Mr. Bleakman's sister.

"Okay, gang," T.J. announced when Clifford, T-Bone, Mac, and Cleo were in Cleo's backyard. "Gus made this point earlier today, but it seems that the dogs don't talk to the humans. Form out." The gang ran up to the dogs. "Hey," he said to Clifford. "I'm T.J. Detweiler from _Recess._ How's it hangin'?"  
"Cross your fingers," Gretchen said. Was Clifford going to respond with a bark, or was he going to talk like a human being?  
Clifford became surprised, and he began to speak.  
"Hey, Teej! I know you and I'm a fan of that show!"  
The six protagonists suddenly applauded ecstatically.  
"YES!" Gus whooped. "The dogs CAN talk to us!"  
Vince walked up to T-Bone. "What's up, T?" he said.  
"You remember my nickname that Cleo gave me? Gosh!" T-Bone said.  
Mikey walked up to Cleo. "Hey there, Cleo, most fluffy-uffy-docious pooch in the world. I'm your number one fan!"  
Cleo gasped. "Mikey Blumberg! Your show is like a god to me! Lemme give you a hug." Mikey knelt down to Cleo, and they both hugged.  
"Hey, Spinelli," Mac said. He and Spinelli shook hands. "I hear that you like to be tough," he added.  
"Yeah, most of the time," Spinelli said. "Especially when something's going wrong. I hope I'm not gonna be in another Finster situation."  
"Oh, don't worry," Mac said, putting his hand on Spinelli's shoulder. "She's just a mindless old lady. Everything will be perfect, okay?"  
Spinelli nodded. "I've got another class with Mademoiselle Povlova tomorrow. I'd rather make up my own dance moves."  
Emily Elizabeth Howard walked up to everyone. "You guys are from Third Street, right? _Recess_ is the best show ever!"  
"Thanks a lot, Emily," Gus said.  
"Join the fun, Emily Elizabeth!" Clifford called.  
"Clifford?" Emily Elizabeth said. "Since when did you all talk?"  
"It appears to be 15 degrees Fahrenheit right now," Gretchen said. Snowflakes started falling.  
"Come on, it's a winter wonderland!" Cleo said. "Let's party!"  
Everyone took some open barrels and carried them up to a steep hill. The gang could fit into the barrels (except for Clifford). They rolled down the hill to race each other. Clifford raced against Emily Elizabeth; T.J. raced against Spinelli; Mikey raced against Cleo; Vince raced against T-Bone; and Gretchen, Gus, and Mac raced against each other.  
The kindergarteners ran along the sidewalk while Miss Finster was yelling, "COME BACK HERE, YOU FOOLS!" T.J, Clifford, Spinelli, Mikey, Cleo, Emily Elizabeth, Vince, T-Bone, Gretchen, Gus, and Mac burst out laughing. What a great start to a winter vacation!


	3. Good Times, Bad Times

(Disclaimer: I hereby do not, in any way, shape, or form, own anything. All trademarks, characters, names, brands, franchises, products, logos, locations, and songs are registered trademarks and the sole property of their respective owners. I understand that any form of copyright infringement is strictly prohibited.)

Chapter 3: Good Times, Bad Times

The gang had dinner together at a Checkers. On their way out, they saw Mr. and Mrs. Howard, who told them that there was a place reserved for the Third Street kids and the dogs to stay. Each of them had a sheet of paper with directions. When they had checked off everything, they ended up at the ship-shaped house on the corner of Pfeiffer Street and Gaston Avenue.  
"Who could imagine staying in this place?" Vince asked.  
"I know!" Spinelli said, raising her eyebrows.  
"I remember when we played Super T-Bone in this front yard and accidentally ruined Clifford's blue blanket," Cleo said.  
"Let's find out what's inside, guys," T.J. said.  
A key to the front door had been laid in front of the door. Gretchen picked it up, inserted it into the keyhole, and turned it clockwise. The gang went inside and felt stunned by what they saw. There stood a spacious living room, a retro galley-style kitchen, a round dining table, and a spiral staircase with walls on either side.  
"AMAZING!" Mikey exclaimed.  
"I can't fit in there, guys," Clifford said.  
"Don't worry, we've got you covered," Gus replied.  
"Actually, I have just the solution to that problem," Gretchen added as she pulled one of her fancy gadgets out of her backpack. "This device, the Transformatron 6000, emits harmless lasers that surround what you want to transform."  
"Can you turn something into anything you want?" Mac asked.  
"Of course," Gretchen answered. "All you have to do is browse the list of ideas and select one of them. It's that simple. Watch."  
"This had better work out right," Spinelli said as Gretchen went out the front door.  
A minute later, Gretchen walked in with Clifford, who had just become a normal-sized anthropomorphic dog. He had his head and tail and the body of a human. He wore a yellow polo, a pair of khaki pants, and brown Steve Madden shoes. He also had a Rolex watch on his left arm.  
"How do I look?" he asked.  
"Gretch, that was a miracle!" T.J. chuckled.  
"I wanna try it!" the other dogs said in unison.  
"We'll do it under the starry night sky," Gus said.  
Outside, the gang started to watch when it was T-Bone's turn to be transformed into anthro form. Rainbow lasers surrounded him as they got lighter and lighter until he was completely transformed. He still had his head and tail, but he had a human body. He was wearing a white Eminem t-shirt, red athletic shorts, and Shaq basketball shoes.  
"Now I'm the _real_ me!" T-Bone said.  
"Looking rad there, T," Cleo said, grinning. It was Mac's turn.  
"This has to be the coolest moment of awesomeness I'm experiencing," he said as he walked towards Gretchen. He was successfully transformed, and he kept the head and tail and had a human body. He sported a Denver Broncos football jersey, black shorts, and orange Mizuno running shoes.  
"Now THAT'S what I call a true football jock," Vince told Mac.  
"Oh, yes," Mac replied. "I couldn't be happier."  
"My turn! My turn!" Cleo said excitingly, running up to the spot of transformation. A cloud of rainbow-colored lasers concealed her, and she reappeared as an anthro poodle. She kept her head and tail, but now she had the body of a human. In place of the fluffy chest fur was a pair of nice boobs. Cleo had a muscular, tomboyish build and sported a gray Rush t-shirt, blue jeans, and red Converse Chuck Taylor high-top sneakers. Cleo gasped as she looked at herself, finding out that her paws had become human hands. She flexed all ten fingers and gasped.  
"I'M A POODLE_ GIRL_ NOW!" Cleo exclaimed. She started laughing and running around on two legs, just like a human, and much faster than she originally did in her non-morphic form. She hugged everyone afterwards.  
Approaching the ship-shaped house was Emily Elizabeth, along with her parents, Jetta Handover, Charley Stanton, Vaz Garcia, Sheriff Lewis, and Mrs. Diller.  
"They must be-" Mikey began.  
"Clifford!" Emily Elizabeth said. "How did you start to look like this?"  
"Smart Girl a.k.a. Gretchen Grundler holds the primary responsibility," Clifford said, touching Emily's shoulder.  
"Heya, T-Bone!" Sheriff Lewis said. "You're the next 'real Slim Shady,' aren't you?"  
"You bet!" T-Bone replied.  
"Cleo! Oh, Cleo!" Mrs. Diller said. "You're the cutest girl ever!"  
Cleo walked up to her and hugged her tightly. "Why, thanks. You know the _Recess _gang, don't you?"  
"Of course. I remember watching that show with you a while back. I'm just thrilled to hear you talk!"  
"We don't rule, we rock!" Mac said, pounding Jetta's fist.  
"You handsome thing," Jetta replied.  
The gang slept in their own dormitory upstairs in bunk beds. T.J. took the bottom bunk while Clifford took the top bunk; Mac took the bottom bunk while Spinelli took the top bunk; T-Bone took the bottom bunk while Vince took the top bunk; Mikey took the bottom bunk while Cleo took the top bunk; and Gretchen took the bottom bunk while Gus took the top bunk. In place of the hind padded feet, the dogs had human feet with five toes.  
"I hate Birdwell Island! I hate this world!" Miss Finster's voice echoed in the wind. The gang suddenly laughed.  
"Okay, lights out," Cleo said, flicking the light switch. "Good night, guys."  
They dreamed throughout the whole night.

The next morning, Spinelli had to get up at 7:30 a.m. to get ready for Mademoiselle Povlova's dance class. Her parents had to visit Miss Finster at the hotel she was staying at downtown, so after breakfast, the Howards drove up in their navy 2001 Ford Windstar minivan. Spinelli opened the sliding rear door and sat next to Emily Elizabeth.  
"You've heard of Povlova, haven't you?" Emily asked.  
"Always puts people to work," Spinelli replied.  
When the van reached Mademoiselle Povlova's Salon of Independent Movement, Spinelli got out.  
"Have a nice one, Spinelli!" Mr. Howard said.  
"You too," Spinelli replied. Then she took a deep breath and said to herself, "Oh boy." She was about to head for the double doors when a voice called her name. She turned around. It was Mikey, who just got dropped off in Cleo's taupe 1992 Lancia Dedra sedan.  
"Wait for me!" he said, running up to Spinelli. "I figured you would enjoy having me as a partner for this class."

Inside the studio, the ballet students, including the Ashleys, the Megans, and Jetta, were learning the ballet basics (pirouettes, arabesques, positions, pliés). Mademoiselle Povlova was pleased to have most of the students attending- all except Spinelli.  
"Come along now, Ashley Funicello Spinelli, please," she said.  
"You can call me just plain 'Spinelli,' thank you very much," Spinelli muttered.  
"Come on, feel the movement inside you," Mikey said.  
"That's it. I use Russian Army Carry," Mademoiselle Povlova said, smiling deceptively. "With the mark and the set and the-"  
"Okay, okay! I'm comin' right now!" Spinelli yelled. She exited the ladies' room and looked terribly silly in her orange ski cap, pink tutu, and black boots. All of the students, except for Mikey, roared with laughter. "Nice boots, you disgusting puppet," Ashley Armbruster jeered.  
"They're better to kick you with, bunhead," Spinelli spat.  
"Oooh! Scandalous and ludicrous!" the Ashleys, Megans, and Jetta chorused. Mikey jumped, knocking the others down.  
"Ah, thank you for intervening, Mikhail," Mademoiselle Povlova said. "Spinelli, we have a very special student who has excellent skills, and I'd like you and Mikhail to see." She clapped her hands twice. "Come on out!" she called to a door.  
"One second!" a cute, raspy voice called back from the other side of the door. Then it opened to reveal Cleo in a burgundy t-shirt, a brown knee-length skirt, and real pointe shoes. She pirouetted across the studio to Spinelli and Mikey.  
"Cleo?" Mikey and Spinelli said in unison.  
"You didn't know about my dance skills, did you?" Cleo replied.  
"Ah, you are familiar," Mademoiselle Povlova said.  
"Cleo, I thought you were a tomboy," Spinelli said.  
"I am," Cleo said. "On the contrary, this attire is more appropriate for a dance class like this."

Under Mademoiselle Povlova's watchful eyes, the students worked hard until noon, when class ended.  
"All of you have worked very hard and improved your skills," Mademoiselle Povlova said. "And I give special congratulations to Ashley Spinelli, Mikey Blumberg, and Cleo Farley in assisting others. I have wonderful surprise for the three of you." She opened a treasure chest revealing costumes. "You're invited to our special holiday performance on Monday. And another thing. My Christmas presents to give you three are $500 gift cards to the new Pulsar Fun Center on Birdwell Island's boardwalk. Money for food and beverages, rides, game cards, go-karts, bowling, indoor mini-golf, ice skating, batting cages, and laser tag is included."  
Spinelli sighed. "Birdwell's so cool," she added, taking her gift card.  
"Thank you, Mademoiselle," Mikey said.  
Cleo gasped. "Oh! I've always wanted to go there! I'm beyond excited! Woo-hoo!" She shook her skirt.

After changing back into their normal clothes in the dressing rooms, the students exited Mademoiselle Povlova's Salon of Independent Movement. T.J, Clifford, and the rest of the gang were waiting for Spinelli, Mikey, and Cleo.  
"_Dasvedanya!_" Mademoiselle Povlova called to the students.  
When Spinelli, Mikey, and Cleo drove up in Cleo's taupe Lancia, T.J. and Vince got in the back seat next to Spinelli. Gretchen, Gus, Clifford, Mac, and T-Bone took Mac's white 1990 Subaru Legacy sedan. The gang had lunch at Firehouse Subs.


	4. Shop Till You Drop

(Disclaimer: I hereby do not, in any way, shape, or form, own anything. All trademarks, characters, names, brands, franchises, products, logos, songs, and locations are registered trademarks and the sole property of their respective owners. I understand that any form of copyright infringement is strictly prohibited.)

Read and review!

Chapter 4: Shop Till You Drop

At 3:30 p.m, T.J, Clifford, Spinelli, Vince, T-Bone, Mikey, Cleo, Mac, Emily Elizabeth, Gretchen, and Gus all had the idea of going Christmas shopping. Each of them went to separate shopping centers and stores so that it wouldn't be a total peep show. When Spinelli was at the local Stein Mart, she ran into her parents.  
"So, did you find anything decent, Pooky?" Mr. Spinelli asked.  
"Just a pair of grey dress pants," Spinelli replied.  
"Really? For whom?" Mrs. Spinelli asked.  
"None of your beeswax, Mom," Spinelli said. "Now lemme finish my shopping spree!" She walked off, pushing her shopping cart and humming "Judas" by Lady Gaga.

T.J. was at the new Birdwell Mall next to the freeway. He found every store category: men's and women's clothing stores, cosmetics stores, teen's and kid's clothing stores, jewelry stores, kitchen tool stores, toy stores, video game stores, candy stores, electronics stores, pottery stores, glassware stores, candle stores, sunglass stores, bath and body care stores, CD and record stores, a huge Sam Ash Music store, a movie theater, and six department stores. T.J. had a ton of shopping bags inside a huge paper bag. After he bought himself a cinnamon sugar pretzel and a lemonade at Auntie Anne's in the food court, he sat down at a table. A minute later, just as he was about to start polishing off the pretzel, Vince, Cleo, T-Bone, and Mimi (T-Bone's girlfriend) took the remaining seats.  
"This has to be the largest shopping mall I've ever been to," Vince said.  
"Oh yeah?" T.J. said.  
"We've never actually been here before," Mimi said. "Or have we, T?"  
"I think once before," T-Bone said.  
"Well, T.J," Cleo said, looking straight into T.J's eyes, "a dog's life is better with a human body. You guys are the best."  
"Thanks," T.J. replied. "I appreciate it."  
"How did your shopping trip-" Next to the AMC Birdwell 40 Theater stood a sign that caught Vince's eye. It read:

_Are you ready for some more slapstick action?_

_Will the leaders of action/adventure comedy save the world?_

_ME NO KNOW!_

**Nitwitz IV: The Rise Of Hamburger Jesus**

_Watch out on December 20th, Sammy!_

_(Rated PG.)_

Vince was immediately dumbfounded. "No way! I never knew they made a _Nitwitz IV_! I gotta see that movie on Monday night! I just can't tell my parents!" He remembered when he saw _Nitwitz III _and got grounded from TV for a week.  
"Are you really a fan of this series?" Cleo asked. "Ever since you saw _Nitwitz II: The Distinguished Knucklehead?_"  
"Criminy! Rovers on the roof!" Vince replied. "I get mesmerized by those movies all the time."  
"I heard that _Nitwitz IV _has to be even funnier than its predecessor," Mimi added.  
"Guys, don't try to peek into my bags here," T.J. said, grinning.  
"Same to you," the others replied.

After shopping at the boardwalk, Mikey decided he'd at least head over to Hill Park and relax for a while. He put his bags down, lay on his stomach on the snow, and poked at a solitary dandelion. Mac, who was clad in a black parka, blue jeans, black galoshes, and a trapper hat, dropped by to say hello.  
"Mikey, you might wanna put your shopping bags away so no one peeks in them," he said.  
"Huh?" Mikey said. "Oh yeah, I gotta do that." He stuffed his bags in his suitcase, making it bulge. Mac suddenly gasped.  
"Finster!" he whispered. "Okay, Mikey, let's each simultaneously throw a snowball at that witch." Both of them rolled up snowballs and packed them with their gloves. They aimed directly at Miss Finster, who was busy chastising Vaz for bumping into her, even though it was an accident.  
"Well, well, well, Garcia," she said. "You better stop acting like a lousy hooligan and clean up your act! I oughta-"  
_PAF! PAF!  
_Both snowballs nailed Miss Finster right in the face, and then _PAF!_ A third snowball hit her squarely in the backside, making her fall over.  
"Let's make a run for it!" Mac said. He and Mikey ran as fast as they could to the beach, laughing hysterically.  
"_Lousy, rotten ruffians trying to...oof!_" Miss Finster began.  
"Here, this is a good remedy," Randall said, offering her what he thought was an ordinary chili pepper. It was actually the hottest pepper in the world: a Bhut Jolokia, or the Naga Ghost Pepper.  
"Why, thank you, Randall," Miss Finster said. She put the whole pepper in her mouth, chewed, and swallowed. Then she started making little noises out of her nose, gagged the pepper up onto the street, coughed, and did a raspy scream.  
"MISS FINSTER! MISS FINSTER!" Randall yelled. "Oh, no! What's wrong?"  
Miss Finster tried to speak, but what came out of her mouth was "I caaaaaa..." She smacked Randall in the face. She would recover the next day.


	5. Time To Get Serious

(Disclaimer: I hereby do not, in any way, shape, or form, own anything. All trademarks, characters, names, brands, franchises, products, logos, songs, and locations are registered trademarks and the sole property of their respective owners. I understand that any form of copyright infringement is strictly forbidden.)

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Chapter 5: Time to Get Serious

The next day, Miss Finster had recovered from the pepper incident, and the kids hoped that she wouldn't put them through horrible torture. The gang, along with the dogs, found out that Miss Finster had planned to steal everyone's presents (except for Randall's and Principal Prickly's) on Christmas Eve as "the new Grinch." They began their journey in downtown Birdwell, where the new skyscrapers were built.  
"Guys," T.J. announced, "our first clue has been found." He took off his red baseball cap to show a folded-up piece of paper, then he put the cap back on his head.  
"It says: 'I am making copies on the 27th floor of the Bank of America building.'"  
"We wouldn't want to disrupt the businessmen, though," Cleo said hesitantly.  
"It might not sound right, but it's our only hope of finding Finster and halting her plan to steal Christmas," T.J. replied. "Let's get moving."  
The bunch entered the main lobby of the tallest building on Birdwell Island (which had 31 floors), which was decorated with a Christmas tree, wreaths, and boughs of holly. The smell of peppermint candy canes lingered in the cool A/C. Business people were carrying loads of paperwork and copies, cups of coffee, and even Christmas gifts for their loved ones. The gang of fourteen went into the elevator and Gretchen pushed the button for the 27th floor. As the elevator ascended, the famous instrumental version of "Sleigh Ride" was quietly playing on its radio. Mikey, Mac, and Cleo sang along to the music. When the elevator reached the 27th floor and the door opened, there was a sign posted to the wall straight ahead that read:

_TURN LEFT  
_  
~_M. Finster_

The gang followed the signs to the copy room, but there was no Finster. The room was empty except for the copy machines. There were arrows that were drawn toward one of the copy machines, which had a piece of paper sticking out of it. Emily Elizabeth took it.  
"It says, 'Ha! Fooled you! Now down at Mr. Kibble's.'"  
"Heavens!" Gus exclaimed. "Is Miss Finster trying to trick us?"  
"I haven't seen a yellow dress with pink diamonds anywhere in here," Vaz said.  
"The garment of bad luck to the Birdwell Birds," Charley, who was the best player on his soccer team, added.  
"There's gotta be something worse than the Finster Grinch in our lives," Vince said. "I just don't have a clue what it is."  
"Dying?" Mac asked.  
"Well, yeah, but..." Vince began.  
"Okay, we've got no time to kill!" T.J. said suddenly. "Let's go!"

The group took a bus to Birdwell Island's historic district, where they seemed to come upon Mr. Kibble's Dog Grooming Parlor. They went inside with the sound of a bell on the door.  
"Excuse me, is there a Miss Muriel Finster here?" Jetta asked.  
Mr. Kibble did not glance up from his Apple laptop computer.  
"Sure, why?" he asked.  
"I dunno, just asking," Jetta replied.  
"Well, she left this little tidbit of info here." Mr. Kibble stood up from his swivel chair and gave a piece of paper to Gretchen.  
"According to my highly powerful cerebrum," Gretchen said, "this note says: 'Sorry! Camping under the boardwalk.'"  
"Gettin' there," T.J. said enthusiastically.  
"Ah, well, that's fairly simple." Mr. Kibble then fixed his eyes on Cleo.  
"Oh, Cleo, how about a nice, refreshing grooming?" he asked, holding a bottle of shampoo. He took Cleo by the arm and pulled the pink bow out of her hair.  
"HEY!" Cleo shouted. "I took a shower this morning! LET GO!"  
"Hey, Mr. Kibble!" Spinelli said. Mr. Kibble quickly turned around, only to see a realistic toy spider right in his face. Spinelli was holding it and going, "Booga booga booga booga booga booga booga booga!"  
"Aaaaayyyyy!" Mr. Kibble yelled. He ran so fast to the already-frosting glass door that he bumped into it, fell over, and said, "Ouchie!"  
The whole gang laughed. Cleo grabbed her bow and put it back in her hair.  
"Well, that wasn't so bad, huh?" she said. "I smell much better than when I was non-morphic." The past morning, when Cleo came out of the shower with a towel wrapped around her torso and had blowdried her hair, a scent of high-quality shampoo lingered around the bathroom.  
"Move it or lose it, freaks!" Spinelli said impatiently. "We've got a case to crack!"

As the gang walked by the Diller residence, they spotted Mrs. Diller shoveling snow off her light blue 2005 Mercedes-Benz SLK 350 coupe. Cleo's Lancia was not in the driveway because it was parked by the ship-shaped house that used to be the library. The gang still had one mile to get to the boardwalk.  
When they got there, the shop awnings had icicles of all sizes hanging from them. There wasn't as much snow on the beach as there was on the rest of the island. They walked to the supports holding the boardwalk.  
No Finster.  
"Not only might she be a grinch who'll steal this Christmas, but also an evil phantom from a child's or a dog's nightmare!" Mikey cried.  
"Don't worry, Mikey," Clifford said. "We'll find her eventually and put an end to this."  
"Yeah, Mikester," Cleo added. "This'll be the best Christmas yet."  
Just then, T.J. found a path of seashells along the coast. "We might as well follow these shells to our next clue," he said.  
The gang followed the path along the coast for two miles to a cave. Mikey saw another slip of paper in the rocks.  
"Hey, another clue to read!" he said, smiling. He then bent down to pick it up, but there was a loud ripping sound. He had ripped his pants.  
"I'M DOOMED!" he said, shaking.  
"Oh, come on now," Gretchen reassured. "It's easily remedial. And I have just the material!"  
The rest of the gang gasped as a shiny silver pair of pants was revealed.  
"Another pair of space pants?" T.J. asked.  
"Precisely," Gretchen answered. "I metabolized this pair and tested it for rips."  
"I don't think it's supposed to rip," Emily Elizabeth said. "It would break the laws of physics."  
"Okay, lemme read _this_ clue," Vince said, snatching the paper from Mikey. "It says: 'Evil henchmen await you. Scared? Tough beans!'"  
"Hide me, hide me!" Mikey cried, clinging onto Cleo.  
"There's gotta be a way to lure those henchmen away, and quickly!" T.J. said to the gang. "Whatever you do, do NOT cause a stir."  
"I'll be right back," Cleo said. "Let's go, Mikey, before it's too late! The rest of you stay put." She went with Mikey all the way to the back of the cave.

Minutes later, T.J, Clifford, Emily Elizabeth, Spinelli, Vince, T-Bone, Mac, Gretchen, Gus, Charley, Vaz, and Jetta were still waiting outside. They heard everything that Mikey and Cleo said in the cave.  
"What's taking them so long?" Mac asked impatiently.  
"Shhh! Listen!" Gus whispered. The gang obeyed him and listened to the inside of the cave.  
"My new pants fit perfectly!" Mikey exclaimed. "And they don't even rip when I bend over!"  
"Time to get down and bring sexy back!" Cleo said.  
Silence.  
"OH, HUBBA HUBBA HUBBA! OOOOOO YOWZA!" Mikey hooted.  
"Tell me I'm not hearing this!" Spinelli said.  
Mikey came back out in his new space pants. "Well, guys, get a load of her!" he said, falling over and drooling.  
"Hi guys!" Cleo called. "What do you think?"  
The gang turned around and were struck speechless. Cleo had just come out in a hot pink bikini, giving a toothy smile, wagging her tail, and wiggling her toes in the sand. The rest of the guys (not the girls) fainted.  
"I wasn't expecting THAT to happen," Spinelli said.  
"The same reaction that different people get when they read swimsuit magazines," Jetta added.  
"According to many health and fitness sources," Gretchen stated, "male teens have a high infatuation with romance."  
Everyone watched as Cleo proceeded down the path, climbed some rocks, and approached Finster's henchmen. The gang started to follow her, but there was no pathway anymore.  
"How are we gonna get past this?" Gus asked.  
"I'll show you guys," Cleo said. "Follow me!" She shimmied along the rock wall, hopped over some rocks, found a bridge to cross a gulch, and led the gang to a maze-like cave. Was this going to be a trap for visitors?  
Spinelli took a path to the middle of the cave, but it led a few yards underground instead. It took her forever to look for another clue in this part of the cave because the path was very long. A ghostly figure of an arm was pointing to a certain path in yet another fork.  
"Yeah, Theophile Paddington Jr., ain't you the most helpful?" Spinelli snorted.  
After walking some more, she literally had to crawl under a tight spot to a small room with a light and writing on one of the walls:

_Below this room lies Captain Walter Birdwell, who founded the island in 1774, shortly before the Revolution. He is remembered in our hearts._

After reading this, she turned around, only to be startled by T.J. and Mac. How had they discovered this tiny room?  
"Spinelli, it took forever to find you!" T.J. said. "Why so isolated?"  
"It's the first path I've taken in this cave, so there," Spinelli replied.  
"Let's go before you start to become the next Lara Croft!" Mac coaxed.  
"But I haven't even opened this clue yet!" Spinelli spat, picking up the clue she had found in one of the wall cracks.  
"It says: 'The henchmen might appear out of nowhere. Your eyes will become two pools of flat root beer. Heh heh!'"  
"Where are we supposed to go?" Mac asked.

The bunch of fourteen proceeded on to a historic battlefield site occupied by Miss Finster's henchmen. When Cleo went up there, she lured them toward her because of her being in a bikini. They were wowed by her nice build, her smooth legs, the cute look on her face, her wagging tail, her warm hands, and her beautiful feet. One of the henchmen was going, "Ooooooooooo! She's a smokin' hot one!"  
Meanwhile, at the lighthouse, Miss Finster was watching the waves and the seagulls while Randall was planning their stealing locations.  
"I'm telling you, Randall, there'll be an end of Christmas spirit soon," Miss Finster said.  
"Hmmm..." Randall was browsing a map of Birdwell Island. "First stop, the historic district. Then the boardwalk, then the houses - - - "  
"NOW HOLD IT RIGHT THERE!" a voice shouted into Randall's ear. Randall jumped and turned around, only to be face to face with Cleo, who had put her regular clothes back on.  
"I was...uh...j-j-just...reading the map..." Randall stuttered. He could not handle Cleo's anger at all.  
_"Don't you freakin' lie to me, snitch!" _Cleo yelled. "My friends and I heard all about this! If Miss Finster left clues for us to find you, tough luck! We knew you were at the lighthouse! I don't give a flip if no one else knows about this! STOP THIS NOW!"  
"Uh, whatever you say," Randall said, cracking a small smile.  
"Randall," Cleo said through clenched teeth, grabbing Randall by the shirt. "I'm gonna give you three seconds to wipe that grin off your face, or so help me I'll punch you upside the head! DO YOU UNDERSTAND?"  
Randall could smell the blueberry-flavored candy canes Cleo must have recently eaten. He passed out from being stunned by Cleo's yelling.  
_"YOU!"_ Cleo screamed, pointing at Miss Finster. "The partner in crime! Is that really a way to treat us Birdwell Islanders?"  
"But...but..." Miss Finster began.  
"BUT WHAT?" Cleo raged. "This kleptomania stops as of _NOW!_"

As the rest of the gang watched Miss Finster, Randall, and the henchmen being led away by a group of police officers, they cheered. Cleo came back, jumping giddily.  
"Hopefully Finster learned her lesson from those cops," T-Bone said.  
"Tender!" T.J. said.  
"I hope this never happens again for years!" Spinelli said happily, high-fiving Mac.  
"Way to go, Cleo," Gus said.  
"Gus, you'll always be our Safety Man," Cleo replied.  
"Mission accomplished, friends," a familiar voice said. The gang turned to find Dr. Dihn, the island's veterinarian, walking towards them. "By the way, the ship-shaped building is becoming the library again. As a reward, your new accommodation will be at 642 Harvey Lane. It's a palatial colonial home, and I'm sure you all are gonna love it."  
"I appreciate it, Dr. Dihn," Clifford said, shaking her hand.  
Our gang of fourteen - - - Clifford, T.J, Spinelli, T-Bone, Cleo, Emily Elizabeth, Vince, Mac, Mikey, Gretchen, Gus, Jetta, Charley, and Vaz - - - looked forward to tomorrow.

__**To be continued...**


End file.
